hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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