i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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