what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
