i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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