Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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