how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize