she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I want a musical about memes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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