the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
