My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
