Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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