Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
