so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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