i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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