oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
