i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
