it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
