Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
