I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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