Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize