she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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