He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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