There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
