i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
