he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
