Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
