It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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