If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize