So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
