My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
