The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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