seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
