Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
