Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize