If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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