You really coming over, don't trick.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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