i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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