thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize