we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
