you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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