M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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