I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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