Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
