I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
