I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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