so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
