so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
