I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Randomize
