It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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