Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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