good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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