Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
