How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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