New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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