The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize