Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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