So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
