i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So vagazzling was a success
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