She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
