ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
