Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
