I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
