He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
