i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
