dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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