My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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