after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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