All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
