Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
